06 3 / 2012
This Fuggin Experience Called Buying A New Fuggin Car
As you may have fuggin read, this squirrel convinced her Daddy to buy her a new car. I get a new car like every fuggin two years or so, but It’s always an exciting experience. Daddy is coming out next week to test drive cars with me and “negotiate” the price for me. Like, I don’t do negotiating, just tell me a fuggin price. I think negotiating is totes fuggin tacky, but whatevsies. I’ve narrowed down my choices to the fuggin vehicles below. Y’allz help a squirrel out, I’m so fuggin indecisive.
OPTION A: This is the Audi A5. It’s fuggin hot as shit, and fast and stuff. Plus, like if Drake were a car, he’d be this car. Yeah, I know I totes think like a guy when it comes to cars. Whatevsies.
OPTION B: This is a BMW 6 Series. So I’ve totes have LOVED BMWs since I saw fuggin Clueless when I was a little girl. Murray has that hot red convertible 3 series. Well, Murray’s Daddy totes should have gotten him a 6 Series because they’re like the fuggin Louis of BMWs and the 3 Series is like fuggin Coach or something. Like, they’re both nice, but one is totes better than the other.
OPTION C: Fuggin GMC Denali. Needz I say more? Nothing says “I’m white but I WILL fuggin cut you” like a Denali. That, and I could load this betch down with some fuggin squirrel pups one day.
OPTION D: Ok, I know it’s fuggin far fetched, but I really wantz this betch. I don’t know if Daddy would buy me this Maybach because it costs more than his fuggin car, AND the only person I know of that owns the Exelero coupe is fuggin Birdman. Wtf, I mean all rappers get fuggin poor eventually (except P. Diddy and Jay-Z) so maybz he’d be willing to sell it? IDK, I personally think it’s worth a fuggin try…though I haz a feeling if Daddy bought it, he’d keep it….
What do you betches think? Option A,B,C, or D?!?